Thursday, November 5, 2009

Dog of Peace and Tranquility.

Ever come across a dog of peace and tranquility.

This is a unique dog. He does not live by tooth or fang. He respects the right of cats to be cats although he doesn't admire them. He turns his steps rather than disturb an earnest caterpillar. His greatest fear is that someone will point out a rabbit and suggest that he chase it. This is a dog of peace and tranquility.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Dog, Man's Best Friend

A man and his dog were walking along a road...
The man was enjoying the walk, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead...
He remembered dying, and that the dog had been dead also. He wondered where the road was leading them...

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold...
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir",

The man answered..."Wow! Would you happen to have some water?", the man asked...
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up. The man gestured, and the gate began to open...
"Can my friend, gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveller asked...
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going...

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book...

"Excuse me!", he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"How about my friend here?" The traveller gestured to the dog...
"There should be a bowl by the pump."
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside
it. The traveller filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog...
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them...

"What do you call this place?" The traveller asked...
"This is Heaven", was the answer...
"Well, that's confusing", the traveller said ."The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Does Your Dog Bite

There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old feller in overalls was sitting next on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ''Nope.''

As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, in pain he yelled, ''I thought you said your dog didn't bite!'' The old man muttered, ''Yap, but this ain't my dog.''

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Let Sleeping Dogs lie

I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me,
sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour.

This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar:

"Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap. "

The next day the dog arrived with a different note pinned to his collar:

"He lives in a home with 9 children - he's trying to catch up on his sleep."

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Carefree Easy Dog's Life

Dog's Life

Why it’s nice to be a dog…

No one expects you to take a bath every day.

Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner, or anything else for that matter.

When it’s raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.

You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you’re insensitive.

You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger’s lap

Having big feet is considered an asset.

If you gain weight, it’s someone else’s fault.

No one tells you to wipe your nose because it’s wet.

No matter where you live, you own the place.

Your mate never complains because you whine.

Puppy love can last.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Are You Thinking As A Dog Or Cat

How Dogs & Cats Think.

A dog thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be gods!

A cat thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a god!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Dog Prize

A little boy took his dog on a "take your pet to school" day. There were prizes for the smallest, the prettiest, the cutest, and the smartest pet. Determined that his dog win a prize, the boy put his pet through a whole series of tricks.

Finally the boy turned to the dog and asked, "Maxy, how much is two plus two minus four?" The dog sat quietly, making no sound, remaining still and silent. "Right!"
exclaimed the boy. His dog won first prize.